Listening to: The clock Ticking
Drinking: Mountain Dew
Okay, so I know that I don't usually do this, but I need to get some things off my chest.
- Today was my last day in counseling/therapy. I Had been seeing the same therapist every other week for 4 years straight. I started going because of severe depression, PTSD flare-ups, and anxiety. Although I'm a lot better lately, I'm still not the best. My councilor was like family to me, and today was the last I'll see of her unless I get bad again. I'll miss her, you know? She was there for me, a shoulder to cry on, a support that I needed as no one else would listen.
- I found out yesterday that it would have been my great grandmother's 31st wedding anniversary. My great grandfather died when I was 8 years old. He was... very sick. A few weeks before he died, we were in the hospital getting ready to visit him and I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and back, I ignored it for a bit because I just wanted to see my great grandpa. Soon though, it became more painful and I ended up getting sick right there in the waiting room. I was rushed to Children's Hospital and found out that night that I had kidney stones and also that I am allergic to whatever is in unfiltered water. He died while I was in the hospital. I never even got to tell him goodbye, or that I loved him one last time. My grandma's siblings took advantage of their grieving mother and took what she had, even if it didn't belong to them via the will. My grandma and great grandma just wanted the arguing to end, for them to just stop raiding and trashing the house. The whole time it was happening me and my siblings were forced to stay in our shared room that we used when we visited as it got to be too violent out there. My great grandmother ended up losing that house and moved around for a bit, only to be taken advantage of and then abandoned alone in Florida by her own son, even though he knew of her health, financial,and depression issues. We ended up moving her back to Ohio to live with us. She went through a lot of health scares when she first got up here, she's constantly depressed, she found out that her kidneys are failing and that she has diabetes. She's Sick all the time, can barely walk, and sometimes refuses to eat.
- A lovely lady I help work for and think of as an aunt has cancer. She's getting worse and worse every day. The doctors predict that she only has 6-8 more months left. Hospice is at her house every day now. I'm just glad that since I gave her a small stuffed dog, she has actually been able to sleep. I guess I helped in that way, even though it's a small way.
- That poor lady's mother, whom I regard as a grandmother, has Alzheimer's and dementia. She's slowly getting worse. Fading day by day. I'm so scared that one day she'll see me and not know who I am anymore.